When I heard that Mike Diamond, the founder of the notorious Snitch bar, was opening a brand-spanking-new rock ’n’ roll club called Retox, I was extremely excited. Since CBGB closed and Diamond sold Snitch - only after The Man hit him with fines for some rockin’ offenses such as smoking, underage drinking and fire hazards - New York’s upscale rockers have felt a serious void in our lives.

There’s nothing quite like kicking back, smoking a ciggy and rockin’ out to some old-school AC/DC while sipping on your own never-ending stash of Absolut. So the first weekend of Retox was a must-see for me. After meeting up with a group of about 30 people, I headed to the door, when, unsurprisingly, the bouncer refused to let all of my entourage in. But this rocker chick got to roll in with 15 of her closest, craziest rock star friends and grab a table anyway.
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Ludacris and DJ Sway,
Photo Courtesy of Brad Barket,
Getty Images North America

Ludacris brings new meaning to ’shake your money maker’ with the recent release of one of hip-hop magazine XXL’s “Most Anticipated Records of the Year,” Release Therapy. As an in-the-know, ahead-of-the-curve New Yorker, I couldn’t wait any longer to hear the new album and see the man of the hour during the album release party at Lower East Side club Element.

Looking for a foolproof evening of intimacy with your new beau? May I suggest handcuffs and wine? This was the very theme of a party I attended on Saturday. The object of the night is to partner up with a fellow wino and finishing a bottle of your favorite varietal. The cuffs don’t come off until you’ve sipped the last drop. Kind of like Prison Break meets Blind Date.

Since nothing turns me on more than men sticking leeches to their eyeballs and stapling their own butt cheeks together, I thought missing the Jackass Number 2 party would be pure blasphemy. Apparently not. What was tragic was dancing at Crobar amid a bunch of dolled up girls that looked more like clowns than porcelain figurines. Making matters worse, there was a plasma screen that had a doll engulfed in flames. Can you say “Creep me out” 10 times fast?

My hips didn’t lie at Quo. By that, I mean I had a great time. The bartenders are friendly the DJ’s wink at you regularly and the bathroom attendant is about the sweetest lady you’ll ever meet. She works on tips, of course, and will kindly ask for your birthday, tell you about your sign, your future, and hand you a paper towel as you head out the door to enjoy the old school music you used to love.

Tuesday night I went out to meet up with some friends at a low key bar in Union Square called Galaxy. When I got there it was the usual mischievous loud and annoying shenanigans that seem to surround me where ever I go (poor me) and considering there was only one other group of people at the bar, I didn’t feel too bad for being my usual loud and obnoxious self. After a holla at my friends, they laughingly informed me that they just met Usher - pointing towards the other group of people who were big black men in suits. Assuming my friends were kidding, I laughed out loud and yelled “UUSSHHUUURRR!!” and did a dance which could only be described as my best impression of Usher.