Jacked at Jackass
October 9th, 2006 by Lauren
Since nothing turns me on more than men sticking leeches to their eyeballs and stapling their own butt cheeks together, I thought missing the Jackass Number 2 party would be pure blasphemy. Apparently not. What was tragic was dancing at Crobar amid a bunch of dolled up girls that looked more like clowns than porcelain figurines. Making matters worse, there was a plasma screen that had a doll engulfed in flames. Can you say “Creep me out” 10 times fast?
I wanted to dash out of there, but something held me back like a force of nature. It was Mr. Knoxville himself. After reading an article on him in Spin Magazine, I concluded that he is indeed crazy, but also charming and somewhat normal. (Yep, that is the sound of denial.) I danced in a room surrounded by scary clown women, watched countless bridge-and-tunnelers walk by, and drank a few vodka tonics. I waited…and waited…and waited…until I couldn’t take it anymore. I could feel myself getting uptight, and I had to get out of there. Several hours. No Knoxville.
Crobar was an interesting experience, and maybe with the right mind-set I would have had a better time. I admit it, I am jealous of people who can “shake that ass” and get impregnated on the dance floor with perfect strangers and call it a night. I had expectations. I thought I’d see at least one Jackass Number 2 cast member, and yet all I saw were a bunch of jackasses with no relation to the movie. I felt robbed.
But after a night surrounded by strangers, I know who I like more than the official Jackasses - my friends. They are funny…and only sometimes jackasses.
October 13th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Knoxville is hot, and he wears high-water pants with converse. HOOOOOT. I thought the night was pretty fun…but I had a lot of tonics myself. Luckily there was a good looking man to entertain me. Love you.