Rollin’ wit da Homies
September 26th, 2006 by Lola
For a roller derby virgin, a double-header all the way out in Long Island is quite a commitment. And let me tell you, it was worth it. From the knuckle sandwiches served pipin’ hot to a ragtag group of skatin’ ladies to the jeerleaders and their ragamuffin mascots - a life-sized banana, an 11-year-old, skateboard-wielding derby son called “Jail Bait” and, of course, a wily leatherdaddy with signs reading “I been bad” and “Submit” - the bout-on-wheels was always entertaining, if not always a thrill ride.
After some mind-numbingly bad, ear-bleeding music, Bronx Gridlock captain and league announcer Ginger Snap announced the first bout between two Long Island Roller Rebels teams: The EastEnd Ladies of Laceration and the Wicked Wheelers of the West. Eight referees skated around with the ladies, moderating the knee-cracking action while a coterie of jeerleaders, including the witch-hat wearing and the flying monkey-tailed alike, cheered on the carnage. The Wicked Wheelers pulled out the win and will face the current top team in the league, The Rolling Thundercats, in a championship bout next month.
The gloves came off for the face-off of the Gotham Girls Roller Derby teams, Manhattan Mayhem versus Queens of Pain. And I have just one thing to tell all aspiring derby girls: Don’t let anyone tell you Gothamites are soft. These girls were fierce. The prison jumpsuit-wearing Mayhem, led by MVP jammer Lil’ Miss Stuffit, put up a good show against the Queens, but the purple-haired, unstoppable force known as Suzy Hotrod sped through the crowd like a bat out of hell and beat on some biatches, including a very unfortunate Baby Ruthless, if they dared mess with her. At the end of an hour of play, the Queens marched away with a well-deserved 84-43 victory.
I must admit, I’m not one for spectator sports – much to the chagrin of my Southern-fried, football-lovin’ family – but no Manhattan maven’s life is complete without seeing the blur of feathers and petticoats fly past while elbows are thrown. If my sources are correct, the Gotham league championship is in October and tryouts for new skate-ikazes are in November. Lace up those skates, ladies. Derby is the new black.
September 26th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
oddly enough working late in SoHo one night, the store Replay had a fashion show outdoors, and those lovely hardcore rollers, including Ginger Snap…were MCing. Ha. Small world.
September 26th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Oddly enough working late in SoHo one night, I saw that the store Replay was having a fashion show outside on Greene, and those lovely hardcore rollers, including Ginger Snap…were MCing. Ha. Small world. Fashion, Def Leopard and Quads. oh my!
September 27th, 2006 at 10:07 am
Great article!
Sidenote: the purple haired unstoppable force is Suzy Hotrod, not Baby Ruthless.
September 27th, 2006 at 11:06 am
You should let GGRD know about this post if you haven’t…. they’ll include a link on their site!
Also, the championship’s in November. But there are bouts in October, too, including Gotham Girls vs. Philly!
Thanks for coming to the bout!
xo, A Jeerleader