Sexual Curiosity in Soho
July 6th, 2006 by Lola
As I watched floats full of go-go boys gyrating to the latest remix of “Hips Don’t Lie” at the 36th annual Gay Pride March, I decided to get myself some pride-appropriate apparel and show those banana-hammocked hunks a thing or two about how to wear a G-string.
On this sultry Sunday, with sweat dripping from my ample bosom, I knew that the West Village was no place to scope out intimates for the discerning lady, so I schlepped down to Soho in my rainbow flip flops and began my quest for the town’s most talked-about unmentionables. I sauntered into the neighborhood’s newest upscale sex shop Kiki de Montparnasse and immediately began fingering the frilly frocks, nearly all of which I would have gladly used to top a camisole for a night on the town.
Amid the store’s gray and purple palette, tastefully draped rows of seemingly one-of-a-kind panties boasted bows, buds, bustles, and names like “Little Bo Peep.” I set my sights on an elegantly ruched cyan blue brassiere and discreetly Little Bo Peep-ed at the price tag. Mon dieu! Can half a month’s rent hold up my girls? I guess I’ll never know.
Beyond the gossamer nightgowns and delicate underthings up front, naughtier niceties await brave shoppers as they proceed back. Modestly named “Instruments of Pleasure” range from your basic vibe (one pink model even had a delightful pink, furry tail hanging off the end), starting at around $85, to Quartz anal plugs for $750—though a diamond-embellished cock ring listed on the website was nowhere to be found; I guess that’s a special order item. Chic bottles of lube, sweet-smelling soaps, and luscious chocolates provided sensual temptation adorned one wall, while 24k gold handcuffs, sexy playing cards, and erotic films (think Last Tango in Paris, not Debbie Does Dallas) lined the other. For amateur film producers and stars, high-end AV equipment is for sale as well.
The highlight of the space is the farthest back room of the adjoined three-room space. A well-appointed boudoir is outfitted with large dressing rooms (space for two… or three!) that are concealed by purple velvet hangings. Kiki’s soft silk pillows and duvets nearly made me want to dive into a Queen-sized bed, and Kama Sutra-esque figurines even left a blush on my cheeks. As I moseyed out of the store, Paris Hilton (if not her Fashion Week-storming look-alike) entered the store, perhaps acting on the suggestion of notables like Lenny Kravitz and Vogue Market Editor Meredith Melling Burke who have been spotted perusing the goods.
Still, even after the selection at kinky Kiki’s, my insatiable appetite was not squelched, so I headed over to the city’s classiest one-stop shop for adult novelties and tittering first-timers, Toys in Babeland. It just so happened that night was the bawdy boutique’s Single’s Night. Sponsored by Original Sin Cider and Park Slope’s Lucky 13 Saloon, the event was mainly for W4W spinsters, but the all-inclusive store welcomed fellow Glamourite Lauren and me with open arms—and a complimentary Babeland Silver Bullet!
Having arrived early, Lauren immediately directed me to a very informative display of condoms, just one of the Soho store’s seductive selections. As I scurried away from the blown-glass dildos (no thanks), and worked my way back to the harnesses, I encountered every Rabbit, G-Spot stimulator, and cock sock that I might ever care to imagine. As messages accumulated on the Flirt Board (designed for shy, unattached Babes to woo ones other), even I garnered a note of praise. Of course, it was from a playful friend whom I had dragged all the way down from Morningside Heights, but it never hurts to flirt! Like a twisted sitcom, my local sexploration had to come to an end.
But I did learn a valuable lesson (albeit in slightly longer than 23 minutes, and minus a paternal pat on the back from Danny Tanner): Soho is where it’s at for sophisticated ladies and gents to sex it up. Sure, Times Square can be enticing, what with the proliferation of polyester lingerie, the 25-cent peep shows, and the bums lurching around on Eighth Avenue, but for discerning Johns and Janes who aim higher when making their low down and dirty dreams come true, the southern exposure below Houston might better tickle your fancy.
July 6th, 2006 at 11:34 am
Okay Im trying to get some work done but it the referral links you enclosed have me doing otherwise. Looks like I may have to take a trip downtown.